25 Ways to Win with People (International Edition): How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks

Synopsis

You've read John Maxwell's best-selling Winning with People, and now you're ready for some specific action steps to build on the knowledge you gained. 25 Ways to Win With People has just what you need! This complementary companion to the full-sized book is ideal for a quick refresher course on interpersonal relationships.

Summary

Chapter One: Building Relationships

Building healthy relationships is key to success in life. In this chapter, authors John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott summarize some effective tactics for developing strong, meaningful relationships. Firstly, they discuss the importance of “connecting”—stopping to take the time to get to know someone, and to really listen when they speak. They also go into the power of good verbal communication, demonstrating that it isn’t only your words that count, but also how you say them. Practicing body language and smiling can have a huge impact on how people view and interact with you. Finally, Maxwell and Parrott encourage finding common ground—knowing what the other person is interested in and connecting with their passions in order to deepen the relationship.

To illustrate these principles in action, consider the example of a manager and employee. When the manager takes the time to learn about the employee’s family, hobbies, and aspirations, they are demonstrating active listening. By asking thoughtful questions and engaging in meaningful conversation that goes beyond their direct work-related responsibilities, the manager is showing that they care about the employee as a person. And by engaging in positive body language and facial expressions, as well as demonstrating an understanding of the employee’s interests by referencing them in conversation, the manager is connecting on a deeper level outside the context of simply “worker and boss”. Through this approach, the manager is establishing the potential for a much more successful and long-term relationship.

Chapter Two: Motivating Others

Adequately motivating others is essential to achieving success in both personal and professional arenas. In this chapter, Maxwell and Parrott discuss the different types of motivation, from “intrinsic”, which comes from inside the individual, to “extrinsic”, which from outside forces. They further explore the acquisition of motivation, noting that once you understand an individual’s interests, values, and goals, you can better affect and direct their inner drive.

To illustrate the application of these principles, consider the example of a student. A teacher can begin to better motivate their student to learn by taking the time to understand their learning style and personal interests. Through having conversations with their student, the teacher may find that the student struggles with reading comprehension yet loves hands-on activities. This begs the question—how can the teacher use this knowledge to increase motivation? By incorporating relevant activities that play to the student’s strengths and interests within the curriculum, the teacher can ignite the student’s intrinsic motivation to succeed. Introducing biographies of figures the student is passionate about and engaging in group projects surrounding topics of personal interest can create a learning environment that is exciting and stimulating, thereby increasing the student’s enthusiasm and drive to achieve.

Chapter Three: Understanding People

When it comes to building successful relationships, it’s essential to understand people on a deeper level. In this chapter, Maxwell and Parrott discuss the importance of truly getting to know someone, and listen to both verbal and non-verbal communication. They also emphasize the influence of personality type—such as extrovert or introvert—on how someone behaves and expresses their feelings.

A great example of how this powerful combination of understanding personal wants and needs, as well as preferences in communication and personality type can being used to great advantage is a client-service relationship. In this type of relationship, it is vital for the service provider to not only have broad knowledge of their product/services, but also to recognize the individual needs of their client. For instance, the service provider needs to know when the client requires technical information presented as clearly and in-depth as possible, versus when the client requires more of a layperson’s explanation simply to get a better understanding of the situation. Additionally, the service provider must also be aware that some clients may prefer to express their needs and views verbally, whereas others may be more comfortable expressing themselves through emails or other forms of written communication. By taking the time to understand these individual differences externally and internally, the service provider can more effectively meet and fulfill the needs of the client.