Beyond Behaviours

Synopsis

A PARADIGM SHIFT FOR CAREGIVERS THAT WILL REVOLUTIONIZE THE WAY YOU APPROACH, TREAT OR PARENT A CHILD WITH CHALLENGING OR EXPLOSIVE BEHAVIOURS.

When you are confronted with a child who is troubled, disruptive, oppositional, defiant or angry - whether you are a parent or a teacher - it can be difficult to know the best way to support them. Traditional methods of 'shaping' a child's behaviour can often be at best ineffective, at worst distressing, for child and adult alike.

Drawing on 30 years of experience, internationally known paediatric psychologist Dr Mona Delahooke describes these troubled behaviours as the 'tip of the iceberg', important signals that point to deeper, individual differences in the child that we need to understand and address before we can resolve behavioural challenges. Using the very latest neuroscientific research Beyond Behaviours makes the case that many children who can't seem to behave simply don't have the developmental capacity to do so - yet.

This book uses neuroscientific findings to help you deconstruct behaviour challenges, and to discover their cause and triggers for your child. It will show you how to apply this knowledge across a variety of behaviour spectrums, from children diagnosed with autism or other forms of neurodiversity, to those who might have been exposed to toxic stress or trauma during their early years. There are practical strategies to implement at every stage, backed up by impactful worksheets and charts, with a strong emphasis not on 'managing' behaviour, but instead on helping children and families build positive experiences to counteract the stress and pressure felt by everybody when you're working, or living, with a child who has behavioural challenges.

Accessible, practical, warmly supportive and steeped in research and clinical expertise, Beyond Behaviours offers a break-through book which guides us - parents and caregivers alike - to the realisation that the most important tool in our toolkit is always our connection with the child standing in front of us.

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Summary

Chapter 1: The Impact of Trauma on Behavior

* Summary: Discusses the effects of traumatic experiences on brain development and behavior. Trauma can result in changes in neural pathways, emotional regulation, and social functioning.
* Real Example: A child who has experienced abuse may exhibit difficulty trusting others, aggressive behavior, or withdrawn behavior.

Chapter 2: Understanding the Child's Defensive Posture

* Summary: Explores the defensive mechanisms children use to protect themselves from further trauma and regulate their emotions. These behaviors can be challenging for caregivers to manage.
* Real Example: A child who has witnessed violence may develop a defiant attitude, seen as oppositional or disrespectful, to maintain control in an unpredictable environment.

Chapter 3: Building Relationships with Trauma-Impacted Children

* Summary: Highlights the importance of creating safe and supportive relationships to help children heal from trauma. Emphasizes the need for patience, empathy, and a willingness to listen.
* Real Example: A teacher who provides a consistent and predictable classroom environment, where the child feels safe and respected, can create a foundation for building trust and emotional regulation.

Chapter 4: Co-Regulation and the Power of the "We"

* Summary: Introduces the concept of co-regulation, where caregivers help children regulate their emotions and behavior. This involves being present, empathetic, and providing a calming influence.
* Real Example: A parent who helps their child regulate their anger by providing a quiet space to process their emotions, allows them to develop self-soothing skills and prevent further escalation.

Chapter 5: The Circle of Security and Attachment

* Summary: Discusses the importance of establishing a secure attachment between caregivers and children. Secure attachment provides a foundation for healthy emotional development and resilience.
* Real Example: A foster parent who provides a consistent and nurturing environment for a child who has experienced neglect can help them develop a sense of safety and belonging.

Chapter 6: The Magic of Play: Healing and Connecting

* Summary: Explores the therapeutic benefits of play for trauma-impacted children. Play provides a safe and expressive outlet for processing emotions, developing coping skills, and building relationships.
* Real Example: A child who has witnessed domestic violence can use play therapy to create symbolic representations of their experiences, allowing them to work through their emotions and gain a sense of control.

Chapter 7: The Power of the Story: Narrative and Healing

* Summary: Highlights the importance of listening to children's stories and helping them create coherent narratives of their experiences. This process allows them to make sense of their trauma and begin the healing journey.
* Real Example: A child who has experienced sexual abuse can benefit from working with a therapist to develop a narrative that empowers them and reduces the shame associated with their experience.

Chapter 8: The Importance of Self-Care for Caregivers

* Summary: Emphasizes the need for caregivers to prioritize their own well-being to be effective in supporting trauma-impacted children. Caregivers need to manage their stress, set boundaries, and seek support to prevent burnout and secondary trauma.
* Real Example: A teacher who has been working with traumatized children may benefit from participating in a support group or engaging in regular self-care practices such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature.