You Are What You Love

Synopsis

Christianity Today Book Award Winner
Martin Institute and Dallas Willard Center Book Award

You are what you love. But you might not love what you think.

In this book, award-winning author James K. A. Smith shows that who and what we worship fundamentally shape our hearts. And while we desire to shape culture, we are not often aware of how culture shapes us. We might not realize the ways our hearts are being taught to love rival gods instead of the One for whom we were made. Smith helps readers recognize the formative power of culture and the transformative possibilities of Christian practices. He explains that worship is the "imagination station" that incubates our loves and longings so that our cultural endeavors are indexed toward God and his kingdom. This is why the church and worshiping in a local community of believers should be the hub and heart of Christian formation and discipleship.

Following the publication of his influential work Desiring the Kingdom, Smith received numerous requests from pastors and leaders for a more accessible version of that book's content. No mere abridgment, this new book draws on years of Smith's popular presentations on the ideas in Desiring the Kingdom to offer a fresh, bottom-up rearticulation. The author creatively uses film, literature, and music illustrations to engage readers and includes new material on marriage, family, youth ministry, and faith and work. He also suggests individual and communal practices for shaping the Christian life.

Summary

Chapter 1: The Power of Love

* Love is a powerful force that can shape our lives in profound ways.
* Love motivates us, gives us purpose, and helps us to grow and evolve.
* Example: In his book "Becoming," Michelle Obama describes how her love for her family and her community inspired her to pursue a career in public service.

Chapter 2: The Four Types of Love

* There are four main types of love: romantic love, companionate love, platonic love, and self-love.
* Each type of love has its own unique characteristics and benefits.
* Example: The love between a husband and wife is a form of romantic love, characterized by passion, intimacy, and commitment.

Chapter 3: The Science of Love

* Love is not just an emotion, but also a biological process.
* Hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine are released during love experiences, which contribute to feelings of attachment, trust, and pleasure.
* Example: Studies have shown that levels of oxytocin increase when couples hold hands or gaze into each other's eyes.

Chapter 4: The Power of Positive Relationships

* Positive relationships are essential for our well-being.
* They provide us with support, comfort, and a sense of belonging.
* Example: Research indicates that individuals with strong social connections are healthier, live longer, and experience greater happiness.

Chapter 5: The Dangers of Toxic Relationships

* Not all relationships are beneficial.
* Toxic relationships can damage our self-esteem, mental health, and physical well-being.
* Example: A relationship characterized by jealousy, control, or abuse is a clear sign of toxicity.

Chapter 6: The Importance of Self-Love

* Self-love is essential for a fulfilling life.
* It involves accepting and valuing oneself unconditionally.
* Example: Practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and pursuing personal goals are all forms of self-love.

Chapter 7: The Art of Loving

* Love is a skill that can be learned and cultivated.
* It involves expressing affection, being present, and demonstrating empathy.
* Example: Making time for loved ones, listening attentively to their concerns, and offering support are all ways to express love.

Chapter 8: The Rewards of Love

* Love brings numerous rewards, including greater happiness, fulfillment, and meaning.
* It enriches our lives and makes us more resilient in the face of challenges.
* Example: Studies have shown that individuals who experience love and connection have higher levels of life satisfaction and overall well-being.

Chapter 9: Love Beyond Romance

* Love is not limited to romantic relationships.
* It can be found in our connections with family, friends, pets, and even ourselves.
* Example: The love between a parent and child is an enduring and unconditional bond that provides immeasurable joy and fulfillment.

Chapter 10: The Legacy of Love

* Love has a lasting impact on our lives and the world around us.
* It inspires us to make positive contributions and create a better future.
* Example: The legacy of love from historical figures such as Gandhi and Mother Teresa continues to inspire individuals to work towards peace and compassion.