The Wicked Wit of Scotland

Synopsis

What is it about Scotland that people love so much? Scotland is famous for many things, as any Scotsman will happily tell you. The list of Scottish inventions is as long as Loch Ness, stretching from penicillin and the telephone to Irn Bru and Grand Theft Auto but, while that Scotsman is busy explaining how Scotland gave the world whisky, television and Long John Silver, spare a thought for the nation and its people. The Scots are a peculiar race with characters as varied and changeable as the unpredictable Scottish weather. In Scotland people will tell you that they love the summer, it's one of the best days of the year, and that wry sense of humour is what inspires The Wicked Wit of Scotland.

This funny and beautifully observed book pulls together stories, quotes, quips and anecdotes from Scots talking about Scotland and others from all over the world relating what they most admire about the country that Harry Potter author J. K. Rowling described as 'one of the most hauntingly beautiful places in the world. The history is fascinating, the men are handsome and the whisky is delicious. But don't eat the macaroni pies.' Featuring wit and wisdom from writers such as Armando Iannucci and Compton Mackenzie, Stanley Baxter and Neil Munro, the sometimes dubious delights of Scottish cuisine are discussed, along with the culture, folklore, politics and sport that will help us to understand just what makes Scotland tick.

Summary

Chapter 1: Droll Tales and Canny Quips

This chapter showcases Scotland's renowned wit and humor. One example is the tale of a Scot who was arrested for stealing a pig. When the judge asked him, "Guilty or not guilty?" the man replied, "Not guilty, yer Honor. I only borrowed it to see how it tasted."

Chapter 2: Aye, Laddie, That's a Wee Bit Different

This chapter focuses on the Scottish tendency to downplay or reinterpret situations with a humorous spin. For example, a Scottish couple was visiting a museum when the husband got lost. His wife found him contemplating a painting of the Crucifixion. "Och, aye," he remarked. "That's a wee bit different from when we saw it in Lourdes."

Chapter 3: Oor Ain Wee Loopholes

Scots are known for their ability to find loopholes and outsmart authority. One example is the story of a Scottish farmer who was caught poaching. When asked by the gamekeeper how he had managed to capture the hare, the farmer replied, "I just followed it until it ran into the neighboring county, where it's legal to hunt."

Chapter 4: The Scottish Sarcasm Society

This chapter explores Scotland's use of sarcasm to express opinions or to put others in their place. For example, a Scottish woman was asked by her husband what she thought of his new golf clubs. She replied, "They're lovely, dear. I'm sure you'll enjoy hitting the ball into the rough with them."

Chapter 5: Highland Humor and Highland Hooch

This chapter highlights the wit and humor found in the Scottish Highlands, particularly when it comes to alcohol. One example is the Highland toast: "May your glass be ever full, may your pockets never be empty, and may your loved ones be always healthy and happy. And if any of these things should fail, may you have a good excuse."

Chapter 6: Aye, There's the Rub

This chapter explores the Scottish ability to find humor in the most unexpected places, often at the expense of themselves. One example is the Scottish saying: "If you're going to make a mistake, make it a big one. That way, everyone will remember it."

Chapter 7: A Wee Bit of Scottish Wisdom

While known for their wit, Scots also value wisdom and common sense. This chapter shares some examples of Scottish proverbs that offer practical advice or philosophical insights. For instance, "A closed mouth gathers no foot." translates to "If you don't speak up, you won't get anywhere."